The making of a better person

The Making Of A Gentleman

1. On giving up the seat. Gentleman give up their seat to the elder and young children... not to the good looking lady, just because she's good looking (otherwise, you might as well never sit. Giving up the seat every time and for everyone doesn't make you a gentleman, it just makes you the guy with sore feet.)

2. On looking at women. A real gentleman doesn't look back after she passes. Look and learn to work your peripheral... but once she's out of your peripheral, let thoughts of her be out your mind.

3. On gossip. End it where it begins... if someone starts going down that path, interrupt and ask if what they are going to say will benefit either themselves, the person they are talking about, or yourself... if they say no, ask them what's the point.

4. On the quality of life. Gentlemen do not impose themselves on others, this means their music remains moderate, their boxers stay hidden, their hygiene unoffensive, and language appropriate

5. On greeting women. Now this is a tough one that I've been trying to master myself. Gentlemen should not be the first to approach a woman or even greet them. A woman should say hello first then he proceeds. On approaching a woman, the chap should only do so if she gives him an opening (i.e. a smile, eye contact).

6. On the shoes. Shoes must always be polished. Make sure those slanted heels are replaced and taps are added to them. Nothing kills a look more than a sharp dressed man with dirty or worn shoes.

7. On living life. A gentleman has an appreciation for life, he lives it fully understanding that everyday he has the opportunity to improve the world around him. He lives life with passion without caring to be a role model, but living consciously by example.

8. On penmanship. Learn to write and I don't mean just print.

9. On too much. Never be excessive - it's vulgar.

10. Understand elegance. Elegance is an attitude, It's about how you live both in the public eye and in the privacy of your home. Money doesn't buy elegance, it can only purchase items.

11. On making a person smile. This is one of the hidden gems of a gentleman. this is where the gent need not say a word, but simply senses the right time and acts on it without any motives other than simply nurturing or creating a smile. When that lady walks by and looks - smile and simply acknowledge her glance without a word or skipping a step... watch her light up. Even that chap you see who you know took time to present himself to the world...Acknowledge it with a simple nod of the head without skipping a beat. The 'little' things are never little.

12. On SMS. For starters, let's understand one thing - SMS stands for short message service. So, no conversations via text messages! Conversations should be had in person, CAPS somehow just don't express emotions as they should be expressed.

The making of a Lady
ON BEING A LADY.

1. On tights / leggings.
In a time where tights/ leggings have become as popular if not more popular than dresses and skirts. No lady should wear tights/leggings without some sort of shirt covering their backside in public. No one should be able to see your pantie line, and wearing no undergarment with the tights/leggings certainly doesn't make it any more acceptable. (the appropriate thing to wear over them are shorts, a skirt, a long shirt / T-shirt).

2. On being approached
A lady does not stop to talk to a gentleman who honks his car horn at her - even if she knows him.

3. On public arguments.
A lady should never engage in public shouting. Learn to differ the disagreement to another time and to a private setting. A lady does not use vulgar language in public and tries to not even use vulgar language in private.

4. On voice volume.
A woman's voice (is more often than not) higher pitched than that of a man. Let us be frank, high pitched voices are quicker to unnerve and annoy. Case in point - if a woman is arguing with a man and his voice should venture into the land of high pitch... rest assured, she will not like it, she may even let him know (I would never advise this unless you really want to challenge his manhood). The point is, beware of the high pith... refrain from increasing the volume if it's not necessary.

5. On Philanthropy.
A lady makes time to help others. No I do not believe that every woman should pretend to be a Mother Theresa, however, every lady should experience the joy of "giving back" simply because she understands the importance of sharing of herself and realizes the power she possess to heal the world. Volunteering, donating - some of the simple things that have long lasting effects.

6. On self care.
This is not about excesses, plastic surgery, vanity, this is about self respect. A lady does not look at herself every time she passes a mirror (or store window) in the street, she looks at herself once before she leaves her house and make sure she's leaving home correctly. This is about not having lipstick on your teeth, not having your nail polish looking like you put a nail file to them after having polished them, this is about fixing your slip, fixing your bra (so you don't have to do it in the street), and I'm sure you ladies can think of a few more things that OF COURSE you don't do.

7. On being socially savvy.
A lady understands that this is an art. She learns to deal with people and doesn't say "I don't get along with other women". A socially savvy lady also understands that she can get more out of a person and situation by using these skills than by being limited to always having to use sex to get what she wants. Being socially savvy is learning the art of conversation, being well rounded, well spoken.

8. Power of quotes.
A lady takes the time to learn a few quotes... this is not to simply regurgitate what they've heard or read, but because they understand the power of wisdom. Life lessons are what helps a woman blossom into a lady, life lessons are not limited to only your experiences, but are also found in the experiences of those before. "One is not born a woman, but rather becomes one." Simone de Beauvoir ... imagine if this applies to a woman, imagine about a lady!

9. On dressing.
A true lady coordinate her wardrobe according to her body type and her skin tones, she understands the art of dressing appropriately. This one may seem simple, but if you look around you as you go about your daily routine, you'll realize that it's not that simple. The media has infiltrated the homes and mindset of the masses. Because it's "cool" we want it, regardless to if it works for/with us or not. Everyone can have a style... but every style is not for every one. Short ladies rarely look good with long boots... Big girls and minis don't mix..... Pink doesn't always work if you're complexion is extremely pale ... blue/green contacts on black women can be a little odd ... large women and spandex, WHOA!. The point is no one is perfect... the point is to find what best works for you, compliment what you have, but be honest with yourself...always.

10. When Sitting.
Keep your knees together when sitting; cross your legs at the ankle. Even if you're wearing jeans, be mindful of your legs. There is never any excuse for a lady to sit with her legs open...NEVER!

11. On posture.
Shoulders back and relaxed, chin up, back straight.

12. The walk.
Elegant, proud.
*Note
Walking in heels is somewhat of an art. It's not about putting your feet in heels and walking. It's about mastering the heels - this does take practice. Ladies, while some who wear heels think "they're killing it" know you're killing the heels, and nothing looks worse than a woman struggling in heels.

13. On finishing touches.
This is one of those things that are often forgotten. A lady knows the power of the little things, from the right smell, to the right accessories.

14. On dignity.
Dignity is having great respect for oneself. Dignity is intimately related to grace.

15. On courtship.
A Lady understands that courtship is a game. She engages in it, knowing full well that it's a game of 2 players and that she also must do her part to ensure that the game develops. She knows that eye contact, a smile, are simple things that enable the game to continue. She ultimately decides if the game shall be played.



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